Chomping on Cashews!

I've finally cracked!

Its the 16th day of the "fast , otherwise known as the "lemonade" cleanse, and Ive finally cracked! Im sitting here, chomping my way through a jar of raw cashew nuts!!

Follow your instincts

"What happened to your resolve?" I hear you ask, or maybe like most of my friends, you think that its about time that I stopped this fast. To be honest, it felt as though my body was saying "enough is enough!" Last night I felt cold, tired and not at all well. I put it down to a new herbal laxative tea that Id tried and which was having a noticeable effect on my insides! It wasnt funny, I can tell you! So last night I followed my instincts and I treated myself to a hot bath and a couple of small bowls of homemade chicken broth (from the freezer)...and I felt much better.

Comfort Food

This morning, after a good nights sleep, I thought that I was feeling OK. Then I burst into tears at the words of a beautiful email , and have felt exhausted for most of the day. I had my usual "lemonade " for lunch. Then this afternoon I succumbed to chicken stock/soup. Delicious!
And now Ive simply given in to the lure of the raw cashew nut! It will be interesting to see if I feel better or worse as a result. Clearly, I needed some food to "comfort" myself.

Emotional Detox

Of course, Im not really telling the whole story here. Whilst I was clearing the "clutter" in my body, I 've also been exploring my emotional balance. Ive been working with an amazing lady called Josephine Airns. Josephine does Resonance Repatterning. In other words, she looks for the conscious and unconscious blocks to my natural abundant vibration and then we work together to clear them.

It is powerful and emotional work,and I have made amazing and very fast progress, no doubt we reckon to the detox in my body. I have literally cleared the space within for the transformation without. Of course, with any transformation there can be a "wobbly" transition period. Think of the poor caterpillar that becomes liquid before he can transform into a beautiful butterfly! The last couple of days could be described as me "wobbling", as I clear old beliefs and blockages that up to now, have been buried by food.

Benefits of Fasting

This fortnight of fasting has achieved a huge amount in my life. I have been more focused on my goals, had higher levels of concentration and gained greater clarity about what is really important. I have also lost nearly a stone in weight and can fit into my jeans again. And I have learnt how good it feels when my body is happy.

Eating Consciously

I feel that the important thing now is to trust that I am the best person to look after my body and to know what it needs most. I have noticed, even today, that I will go for food if I feel cold and/tired and I will go for food to avoid doing a task. Now I recognise this, I am able to make conscious choices. For example, the cashews had to wait til every item on todays "to do" list was crossed out.

Last night, when I felt tired, I realised that my old choice would have been to treat myself to something like a Thai or a chinese takeaway as a way to distract me from my tiredness. I know now that it is better to recognise the tiredness and to choose an early night and a light supper rather than to "pig out".

Raw Food or High Protein

I am still confused, going forward, about whether to stay on 100% raw food or to follow Leslie Kentons "low carb, high protein" diet. For the moment Im planning to move off my "lemonades" for a while (even the best stuff can get boring) and drink more home made soups, gradually moving back to salads. Ill be a lot more conscious of what I eat, whatever it is, and I confess to enjoying the idea of some meat and fish in my salads. But for the moment Im hooked on Chicken Soup. There must be a reason for the old wives tale about Chicken Soup!

I recommend the Stanley Burroughs Master Cleanse

Ill be back to report on how Im progressing and what Im eating once Ive completed my research on both options. For now though, I can definitely recommend the Master Cleanse from Stanley Burroughs as an excellent way to detox.

Go for it!

The weekend

Weekends are for fun, not Fasting!

The weekend is not a good time for fasting! Weekends are traditionally about winding down, spending time with your loved ones and having fun. Weekends are when you meet up with your girlfriend for a cup of coffee in town , when you enjoy a romantic date on Saturday evening and a roast dinner with friends on the Sunday. Weekends are not meant to be spent on your computer working and replying to emails because you have become a social outcast!!

Escaping my home existence

Ive decided to rebel against my self imposed existence. No, I wont to succumbing to any solid food, although I have to say that this "lemonade" is starting to become a little boring. (Its terrible for the teeth , leaving a coating that Ive never exoperienced before! Yuk!) I need some fresh air and exercise so Ive arranged to meet a friend in Chester and I could do a brisk speed walk there. Of course we'll no doubt want to go for a "coffee" and I shall treat myself to the indulgence of a peppermint tea! Wonderful!

Received a few invitations including one to watch the rugby in a pub, one for Comedy Club tonite and one for the cinema ...and yes, Im taking the cinema option! At least once I get past the popcorn, Ill be safe with my bottle of water for company!

No real hunger

Actually joking aside , this fast has been SO much easier than I could have ever imagined. I reckon its easier to eat nothing at all than it is to sit down to a roast dinner and eat a small sized portion because thats all I need at the time. I havent yet felt really hungry. Ive experienced occasional yearnings for food but thats not really the same as being truly hungry. Of course, thats probably explained by the fact that I am eating spoonfuls of Maple Syrup (sugar) each day!!

Pocket Money Treats

Earlier today I popped to my local newsagent for a paper. Out of habit I glanced at the rows of Cadburys and Nestle, looking for something to spend my pennies on. The brightly coloured selection draws you in and the delight of spending money has nothing to do with hunger. It reminds me of being a child with pocket money to spend on a treat. It was not so much the treat that appealed to me, I realise now, but the anticipation of receiving a treat. Occasionally in the past Ive given in to the temptation and bought the Galaxy or the packet of Cheese and Onion crisps, to consume immediately of course! I realise now that the satisfaction of this is fleeting compared to the satisfaction of registering a desire and then consciously saying "no" to it.

I can choose to want to eat

If I allow myself, I can easily visualise irish stew or smoked salmon with guacomole or chicken soup with noodles and I can make my mouth water. I can easily persuade myself that I want to eat something , even if Ive just eaten! I realise now that Ive been doing it all my life ! Where there's a social requirement to eat, it's easier to want to eat than to say "no". And so Ive been eating often as a reaction to circumstances rather than through conscious choice. No wonder I weigh more than I expect to weigh!

Losing weight

Talking of losing weight, I'm not. Well I havent actually weighed myself but I still have a bit of a tummy. Its a good job that weightloss isnt my primary objective! Mind you , I was secretely hoping that I would emerge svelte-like and able to sniggle into an old pair of jeans. Still at least four and a half days to go ... My fast officially ends on Wednesday but then Im only really allowed orange juice for at least another couple of days so there s plenty of time for my hips to completely change their shape ! Thank God Im an optimist!!